Goodbye, 2017. Hello, 2018!

For the first time since I started this blog and has been posting an annual retrospective of the year that passed, I am at a loss for words.

To say that 2017 was a roller coaster of ups and downs, both on my fangirling side and my personal side, is a total understatement. On the fangirl side, I started the year with a bang (a TV appearance) that quickly turned to a whimper (I got bashed into fandom oblivion and I haven’t recovered since). Midway through the year, I entered a new phase: the no-group phase. I was on a fandom limbo of sorts, which quickly turned into non-limbo. I’m not making sense, am I. :shrug: :lmao: What I’m really saying is, I thought my fangirling days with Alden Richards was over, but it wasn’t. It just went underground. Where it’s more fun. Haha!

Then, towards the end of the year, certain events ruffled the entire fandom and it made things much more interesting. I’m quite curious as to how things will pan out (which we might find out in a few hours, when Eat Bulaga resumes its live broadcast). Who knows, I just might go back to mainstream fangirling again. Not that anyone else is interested…

On the other side of my fangirling life: my Korean ship went total Titanic and they got married in 2017… to other people. :lmao: Fortunately, I’ve already moved on to other things when it happened. It became much easier to accept.

On the personal side, my career – as in my day job – in 2017 ended on a very high note with the unexpected promotion that I received on the last quarter of the year. But that last quarter also proved to be difficult as my family faced a very tough challenge, ie. both my parents getting seriously ill at the same time. :sad: I nearly spent Christmas and New Year at the hospital taking care of my mother (my father was hospitalized the week prior to that) but by the grace of God, we were discharged two days before New Year. Both of them are now recuperating at home and while they still have to undergo therapy and continuous medication, the fact that the entire family was able to welcome 2018 together at home is already a huge blessing. I truly thank the Lord for that. :pray:

The final few days of 2017 sent me a clear message: life will throw us challenges and adversities, but if we are steadfast in our faith and never give up, everything is going to be fine. It’s time to face the new year with a heart full of hope and positivity.


For someone who’s at a loss for words, I certainly wrote a lot, ‘no? :hihihi:


Year two.

Today, October 17, marks the second anniversary of the time I plucked myself out of fangirl retirement and became an active supporter of Alden Richards.

Those two years have been a roller coaster of ups, downs, and lower than downs. Frankly speaking, there had been many, many times that I seriously considered going back to retirement because I felt that it’s not worth all the aggravation anymore. This is supposed to be a stress-reliever, after all. If the one that’s supposed to free you from stress has become the source instead, you should stop doing it.

But then, I looked at this photo that I took about a week ago when I was cleaning up my room. These pretty much summed up my entire journey as an Alden fan, so far.

I remember browsing through the photos once again and reading Alden’s messages on each book (all of it are signed except for the Eat Bulaga one which I hastily handed over to him during the Wish I May tour at SM Marilao, back when he only knew me as, “yung sa Imus!”). It was then I realized that I’ve come a long way in such a short period. My ‘career’ as Agent P may be in a coma at the moment, but I’m kinda enjoying the relative peace and quiet that I have now.

I may be alone in this journey – most of the time, anyway – but it’s all good. I’m still here. :smile:


Birthday 2017.

I’ve been on a roller-coaster ride since the latter part of 2016. I guess it’s just fitting that my birthday this year is like a roller-coaster ride, too. Heck, it’s the day after my birthday, and I’ve ridden a roller coaster of emotions the entire morning until noontime. :aargh: I hate my job. Sometimes.

As I reflect on how the year has been, I realized that everything that has happened to me particularly in the last two months comes with a lesson. That being, to borrow a line from a certain phenomenal star, not everyone who approaches you is true to you. I had to learn it the hard way, but I guess lessons like that really must be applied harshly to get the maximum effect.

The great thing is, I learned in the past few days/weeks that despite the growing number of people who seemed to have learned to dislike me, there are also more people who love and care for me regardless of who I am and what I have become, with some of them I haven’t even been in touch with for the longest time. They’re just there, waiting to welcome me with open arms. All I got to do is holler.

And to those who judged me, well… I can’t do anything about that. I say what I say and do what I do and I take full responsibility for it. Your understanding and perception of what I do or say is all yours.


Since I celebrated my birthday by being, once again, a trending topic on socmed because I took a selfie with Alden in public :rolleyes: I just want to say a few things before I end this blog entry:

1. I’ve never talked about it openly since I didn’t feel the need to, ie. until recently: I am no longer a part of any Alden Richards fan club. I haven’t been one since the latter part of May 2017. I now fangirl on my own.

2. Since we’re on the subject, I’d also like to clarify that I was NOT, and never have been, a founder or main admin of any Alden Richards fan club. I am merely a member who was always designated as the ‘on-camera talent’ since none of the other FC members wanted their faces to be publicized. As this round face of mine has been on camera before in my previous fandoms, I am sort of the default choice. So again, quit referring to me as that person who formed that FC for whatever purpose.

3. And while we’re on the subject, may I just ask: why do some people keep on looking for me at Alden United? I am not, and never have been, a part of AU. :shrug: Don’t look for me at any fan club, for that matter. I personally know, and are still friends with people from different FCs, but I am no longer a member of any of it.

4. If anyone thinks that those nasty comments that were posted on IG about me yesterday made me mad or sad, well sorry guys. :lol: I haven’t laughed like that for the longest time, and that comment thread was my source of entertainment during my long travel time to and from work yesterday. :lmao: So I guess I owe those people for keeping me amused?


Precious moments.

I had a great Sunday.

It was one of those days where everything was just surreal, but really nice. I can’t share exactly what happened, for many reasons, but it was wonderful.

And then a few people attempted to spoil that wonderful day which diverted my focus from it.

I didn’t fully appreciate how wonderful that Sunday was until two days later, when I was getting bored on the commute to and from work. I killed time by recalling the events one by one, and realized how much I wasted it by allowing myself to get affected by those negative forces.

So many terrible things have been happening in the world lately. It’s getting more and more difficult to stay positive that those little happy things that we usually take for granted become more and more precious.

I am taking this as a lesson in life. If something good happens to you, never, ever take it for granted. Treasure and appreciate anything that makes you happy, no matter how big or small it was.

And never waste a precious moment by letting other people’s bitterness ruin it for you.


Annual year-end post, 2016 edition.

My 2016 can be summed up by this photo:

At my year-end post last year, I had wondered how much closer will I get to Alden Richards come 2016. At the time, I was only wondering if I’ll get to attend more events and hopefully take more photos with him, and not necessarily solo.

Ironically, less than a month after I posted that blog, I posted a rant about the state of his fandom.

And then another month after that… I transitioned. Actually, the whole Alden fandom transitioned. Alden International came along and things were never the same again.

2016 was one big roller coaster ride. There were so many high points, and quite a number of low ones. It came to a point that I barely posted blogs, not because I got lazy/lost my drive like last year, but because I got pushed into a fandom that relentlessly destroys anyone who has a opinion that does not fit their own. Even if it’s on something as legit as wanting more substantial projects for our idols. Say something like that, and you’re dead meat.

It irks me that in this fandom, you are not allowed to have a mind of your own. You simply can’t just do your thing. Someone is just watching from the sidelines, waiting to pounce at even the smallest mistake that anyone will make. This fandom has so many geniuses. They can manipulate the nation by making them hate anyone whom they will decide as The Enemy, even if that someone is not doing anything wrong. Pag nakainggitan ka, humanda ka na. :phew:

It got so tiring. Exhausting, actually. I got to a point where I wanted to give Alden up. A week will not pass where I didn’t utter the words, “ayoko na” (I give up) to people I confide with. I even declared to my FC admins, “tatapusin ko lang ang mga commitments natin hanggang end of the year. Pagkatapos nito, ayoko na. Lalayo na ako.”

Alden International is a small, quiet group that got even smaller and quieter. But however small we are, this bunch can surely be relied on when it comes to giving their full support to Alden. We may not be the type that are always visible wherever Alden is (ironically, I am being tagged by bashers as “laging nakabuntot” – always tagging along – when I’m hardly present in most of his events and I can count my close encounters with one hand) but we show our support where it matters most. We’re just here, on the sidelines, cheering him on.

That above paragraph was supposed to be my speech at the Joint Thanksgiving Party last December 27. Not exactly in those words, but along those lines. However, it seems the universe didn’t want me to give up. When the one you’re supporting tells you himself not to give in to bashers and that he believes in you, who am I to say NO to that?

I don’t know how much uglier it will become in 2017. I just know that I’m here to stay. Alden Richards is here to stay. You bitter fools will just have to swallow that. :blink:

Have a great 2017, everyone! :soju: