And so it has come to this.

For the past year and a half, I have tried to be as silent as possible. Those who have known me all this time know that being silent is something that is so un-AgentP. I have always been opinionated. I have always been vocal about my views on anything that interests me. I never cared about ruffling feathers. I never back down on an argument, even those that are pointless and offensive.

Being part of this current fandom that I’m in has changed me. I wasn’t lying nor embellishing when I said that being a fan of this artist I’m currently supporting has inspired me (and a lot others) to become a good person. Since I became active in this fandom, I have always considered “him” and “them” before I open my mouth. Sure, there were times when I said things that are ‘controversial’, but then in those times, it became controversial because “they” decided it was controversial. Whoever “they” were. :neutral:

There were times when I was just speaking my mind. But in speaking my mind, I forgot that I belong in a universe – a nation, if you will – where speaking one’s mind is only allowed if you agree with what they want you to think and say. I forgot that I belong in a fandom where one can easily twist your words and make it appear that you’re the one at fault, or worse, present an imaginary situation as fact. I forgot that social media is a very powerful medium that it only takes one influential person to make you look bad in the eyes of the entire virtual world.

It’s funny how much I “discovered” about myself in the past 24 hours. Through social media, I discovered things that I don’t remember doing or saying. I apparently was in places where I never went to; for example, I found out through social media that I was at Alden’s birthday celebration last year and he joked about my bulging tummy. Upon reading that, I doubted myself and actually tried to recall where I was at Alden’s birthday last year. :lmao: Then I realized that Alden doesn’t even know who I am on January 2, 2016, much less joke about my bulging tummy.

I found out through a comment that I Tweeted something offensive last Sunday and quickly deleted it. It’s funny because I stopped going to Twitter since… I don’t even remember when. :shrug: I just use Twitter to cross-post my blog and Instagram feed. I don’t even remember my Twitter password anymore. :hihihi:

I was accused of doing nothing but ask for video greets, hugs and kisses. For the record, I only asked Alden for a video greet a grand total of three times: once, for one of our admins on her birthday because we were in Singapore and there’s no one else to do that for her; and twice, for a certain fanmily that I belonged to but they’re now reduced to throwing shades at me on socmed for reasons only they know. :rolleyes: As for the hugs and kisses… uhm, none of you will probably believe me so just ask Alden himself if I ever asked that from him. I can only remember one time: at HKIA, because if I won’t hug him I’ll collapse right there at the airport.

The people who posted those comments sounded so sure of themselves that even I started questioning myself if I did those things. It’s hilarious and terrifying at the same time.

I really don’t need to explain myself. I just mentioned those instances to demonstrate how much of what is being told about me right now on social media are LIES and MANIPULATION. Don’t worry, guys, I understand. You were told to hate me, so you did. That’s how this fandom rolls.

And since that’s how this fandom rolls, I decided to leave.

I had mentioned on my year-end blog that I am here to stay, regardless of what everyone thinks of me. But there’s a limit to everything and I have reached my limit. It’s one thing to throw nasty comments towards me. I can accept anyone who maligns my physical attributes (because when logic fails, try throwing a personal insult), or accusations of me having hidden desires towards Alden (hahaha!), or even insults toward my photography skills (because, really, even I am not convinced that I’m good at taking photos). But when a few people decided to include my friend’s 10-year old daughter in this madness, I got scared. Not for myself, but for my family. See, this is the type of monsters this fandom has. They are not contented with just destroying the person. They will destroy everything he or she has, including his/her family, his livelihood, his personal life. This fandom will not hesitate at crossing lines that shouldn’t be crossed only to show their so-called power.

I was once a part of them, when it was all about the love and good vibes. Nowadays it’s just all about ruthlessness, about power-tripping, about behaving like monsters just to prove that they should not be underestimated.

I refuse to be part of this heartless fandom.

Masyadong mahaba na ang panahong naibigay ko para sa ibang tao. Panahon na siguro para isipin ko naman ang sarili ko. For the safety of my family, friends and my well-being, it’s better for me to stay away.

RJ, alam kong sinabi kong hindi ako bibitiw sa ‘yo. Hindi ako bumitaw. Hinabaan ko lang ang tali. I wish you well and I hope, sometime in the future, we’ll bump into each other again.

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I’ve been out of the loop with everything Korean for the past year and a half, but this is the one thing that I’ve been looking forward to ever since Rain started hyping about it.

Those flawless dance moves. That haunting voice. And that cute surprise at the end. This is Vintage Rain, the Rain that most of us loved. He’s back, bitches. :arrow: The fact that the song is produced by Psy is an added bonus.

It’s just sad that this is just a single and is not even a part of a mini-album. I wanna hear more!

Welcome back, Jung Ji Hoon. :clap:

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My 2016 can be summed up by this photo:

At my year-end post last year, I had wondered how much closer will I get to Alden Richards come 2016. At the time, I was only wondering if I’ll get to attend more events and hopefully take more photos with him, and not necessarily solo.

Ironically, less than a month after I posted that blog, I posted a rant about the state of his fandom.

And then another month after that… I transitioned. Actually, the whole Alden fandom transitioned. Alden International came along and things were never the same again.

2016 was one big roller coaster ride. There were so many high points, and quite a number of low ones. It came to a point that I barely posted blogs, not because I got lazy/lost my drive like last year, but because I got pushed into a fandom that relentlessly destroys anyone who has a opinion that does not fit their own. Even if it’s on something as legit as wanting more substantial projects for our idols. Say something like that, and you’re dead meat.

It irks me that in this fandom, you are not allowed to have a mind of your own. You simply can’t just do your thing. Someone is just watching from the sidelines, waiting to pounce at even the smallest mistake that anyone will make. This fandom has so many geniuses. They can manipulate the nation by making them hate anyone whom they will decide as The Enemy, even if that someone is not doing anything wrong. Pag nakainggitan ka, humanda ka na. :phew:

It got so tiring. Exhausting, actually. I got to a point where I wanted to give Alden up. A week will not pass where I didn’t utter the words, “ayoko na” (I give up) to people I confide with. I even declared to my FC admins, “tatapusin ko lang ang mga commitments natin hanggang end of the year. Pagkatapos nito, ayoko na. Lalayo na ako.”

Alden International is a small, quiet group that got even smaller and quieter. But however small we are, this bunch can surely be relied on when it comes to giving their full support to Alden. We may not be the type that are always visible wherever Alden is (ironically, I am being tagged by bashers as “laging nakabuntot” – always tagging along – when I’m hardly present in most of his events and I can count my close encounters with one hand) but we show our support where it matters most. We’re just here, on the sidelines, cheering him on.

That above paragraph was supposed to be my speech at the Joint Thanksgiving Party last December 27. Not exactly in those words, but along those lines. However, it seems the universe didn’t want me to give up. When the one you’re supporting tells you himself not to give in to bashers and that he believes in you, who am I to say NO to that?

I don’t know how much uglier it will become in 2017. I just know that I’m here to stay. Alden Richards is here to stay. You bitter fools will just have to swallow that. :blink:

Have a great 2017, everyone! :soju:

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It all started when I volunteered to become a correspondent – again – for GMA Pinoy TV at Alden Richards’ Hong Kong concert.

Saturday afternoon. I was in Macau with my friends when my contact from GMA International messaged me on Viber to ask if I have plans of welcoming Alden at HK airport the following morning and if I will, if I can cover it for GMA Pinoy TV. Without batting an eyelash, I said yes. I actually was contemplating on doing it since our hotel was relatively near the airport. The only thing that’s stopping me is the fact that his flight will arrive at 7:10am, which means I have to be there before that time, which means I have to wake up as early as possible to be able to make it. The fact that it became an official assignment as volunteer correspondent compelled me to do it.

The thing is, we weren’t able to leave Macau until 11:30pm and we arrived at our hotel in Hong Kong at almost 3:00am. Long story short, I ended up going to the airport with barely an hour of sleep and no breakfast, not even a coffee fix. Good luck to me!

Going home? Nah. Just doing my job. 😉 #adventuresinfangirling #travel #HongKong

A photo posted by Paulette Agent P (@agent_pau) on

I was able to reach the airport a few minutes before the plane carrying Alden and his management team landed. I found a spot at Exit B and waited there. After thoroughly observing the area, I realized that there were two arrival exits: A and B. I quickly scanned the arrivals board for the flight status and which gate its passengers will exit. It clearly said “B”, so I stayed there. A few minutes later, I saw that a group of Alden/AlDub fans along with the welcoming committee have assembled just a few steps behind me. It gave me some assurance that he will, indeed, make his exit there.

For some reason, paranoia kicked in. The thought that he will go out at Exit A kept on pounding in my head. There were two big screens just in front of me showing footage of exiting passengers from Exit B and Exit A. I kept an eye on both screens, just in case.

Just then, Alden, Mama Ten and Leysam appeared on the screen… of Exit A. :whoa: Sh*t!

My brain only processed one thing: RUN! As fast as you can, before he quickly gets escorted out of the airport!

As soon as I sped off, I heard the other fans saying, “sa kabila sila lumabas!” (they took the other exit!) so they took off after me. I later on learned that they realized this fact when they saw me running, because they told me, “ikaw ang unang nakakita sa kanila” (you’re the one who saw them first).

Now here’s a basic fact about me: I don’t run. It’s simply not my thing, as evidenced by the fact that I’m on the heavy side. Fortunately I couldn’t find my leather boots and it’s too cold to be wearing Fit Flops sandals so I ended up wearing rubber shoes in Hong Kong. I wouldn’t be able to run at all if I was wearing boots or sandals. Exit A is at the other end of the building, which spans around a kilometer or so. :ehh: Actually, I have no idea. All I know is that it’s far. :wall: Halfway through the run, my legs, knees and feet started to give up. I was panting like crazy and I started seeing spots which really scared me as I might collapse or worse, have a heart attack. :nailbite: Add to that the fact that I was carrying GD-TOP the 3.5kg DSLR on my bag and it’s really weighing me down. I switched to very difficult brisk walking, which allowed the other people to pass through me and it made me kinda sad.

And then I saw Alden just about a couple of meters away. He was just standing there on one side with Leysam and Mama Ten, and there’s no one else with them. Apparently, the people who passed through me didn’t see Alden, et al and totally missed them. :lmao: Therefore, the first face that Alden and co. saw in Hong Kong was Agent P. :clap:

Once I was within his hearing distance, I told him in between short breaths, “******* bakit kayo nandito? Andun mga sundo mo sa kabila!” :rotflmao: ([expletive deleted], why are you here? Your welcoming committee is at the other exit!) Alden looked a bit befuddled; I don’t know if he didn’t recognize me at once or he was surprised to see me instead of the concert producers. And since I was close to collapsing right there and then, I gave Alden a big hug, which I don’t normally do. :hihihi: Then I told him – barely – that I need to take pics for GMA Pinoy TV, so he posed for my camera:

I’m not sure, though, if he understood then that I was taking footage for GMA Pinoy TV, or for Alden International; or it’s simply a standard thing for him: see Agent P with a camera, pose for a pic. :grin: Because despite the obvious fatigue, look at that smile. :dream: Then the other fans started mobbing him, so the welcoming committee decided to start making their exit towards their shuttle service. I decided to brisk-walk along with them. But since they walked really fast and I have to be ahead of them to be able to take good footage, it’s really more like a (not-so) fun run for me. :stretcher:

(Facebook Live video credit to SingPhil Events)

Lakas maka-Kpop ng airport arrival vid. 😆 #OneFineDayWithTheBaeInHK #AldenRichards @aldenrichards02 @aldenintl

A video posted by Paulette Agent P (@agent_pau) on

Note: I muted the video because the background audio was of me breathing heavily. :hihihi:

As I was recalling that incident, I realized one thing: I actually didn’t have to run because he’s not going anywhere without his welcoming committee, and his welcoming committee was with me at Exit B. :slaphead: Then again, this blog entry won’t be as interesting without the fun run part…

Moral of the story: if you intend to become a serious fangirl-slash-volunteer-correspondent, start doing cardio exercises and work on your endurance.

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